Grief is a funny thing. Everyone deals with it in their special ways. It all depends on the situation they go through.
For me, I lost my grandma, whom I referred to as my queen, on January 23rd. It was very sudden and no one expected it. I was heartbroken. She was my father’s mother. While trying to grieve the loss of her, on the day of her funeral, February 3rd, my granddad went into the hospital. My mother had to rush after the funeral to Pittsburgh to be with him and my other grandma. Early in the morning hours of February 4th, my granddad passed away. I lost two of my biggest supporters, my biggest companions, in 12 days. Not even two weeks.
My namesake grandfather, William Medovic, passed away in 2006, meaning I never got the chance to meet him. I grew up with three grandparents. To lose two so close together was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with.
My grandma was enjoying her winter in Florida with my aunt, in which I take comfort. My grandfather, was enjoying retirement with my other grandma, another thing I can take comfort in.
Grieving through these tremendous losses has not been easy, but I found three main things to take comfort in.
- Accept the comfort of others around you. Those who truly care, and want to be there for you, will be. When they’re offering to be there, take them up on their offer. The therapeutic feeling of talking to someone who cares is something many take for granted. You may feel there are so many who will be there, but you will find who’s there and who’s not.
- Spend time with family, even in moments when the reunion isn’t when it should be. Families never want to get together for the funeral of a loved one. It’s one of the hardest moments to deal with. But, getting to see and spend time with extended family is something that truly helped me through these tough losses. Seeing cousins, aunts, and uncles who I hadn’t seen in a while took away some of the pain of losing someone you love.
- It’s okay to cry. Crying may be something others view as a sense of weakness, but for me, it made me feel better. Crying is a tough thing to do, especially to be viewed as vulnerable when crying, but it’s something that made me feel human again. Losses as great as those of grandparents is something so hard to deal with. Getting the emotions out is an experience many need to have to feel better.
The biggest thing many students worry about is how they’re going to get their work done. Advocating for myself was something I made a priority. I reached out to my counselor, told her everything that had happened, and asked if she could communicate my absence to my teachers. I also got in contact with one teacher I trusted and told her. She helped take care of part of the process for me–special shout-out to Mrs. Dillon!
Advocating for yourself is a large part of grief. Falling into a pit of depression may seem unavoidable, but trust me when I say you can avoid it. Reach out to those who you know will push for you.
My grandparents, no matter what their interests were, always made an effort to come out and see me in various types of performances I was in. Seeing their grandchildren doing what they love was something they loved to see. Being grandparents was one of their largest accomplishments and joys in life, aside from being parents and small business owners for better parts of their lives.
Going from three grandparents to one is hard to fathom, especially in the short time I experienced these losses, but my grandma will forever carry on the legacy of my grandparents who have passed. She will always make an effort to be there, no matter the distance.
The moral of the story is to hug those you love tight, and never be afraid to show emotion, and family is the most important thing in times of struggle.
