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The Park Press

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Big Nuts: A Tragedy

Have you seen him?
Big Nuts: A Tragedy

On Thursday, April 18, 2024, Mrs. Seals began her vacation. However, she was entirely oblivious to the fact that her beloved stuffed squirrel, Big Nuts, was to go missing upon her departure. When the English teacher returned on April 23, 2024, she noticed that her beloved squirrel was missing. Sadly, that was not all. In addition, a cryptic ransom note had been left in her mailbox.  The note read that Big Nuts would be on his way to Africa unless Mrs. Seals acted quickly. There have been no immediate demands for his safe return. Mrs. Seals has no idea who the culprit is but is wishing for any information to help find Big Nuts. 

You may be asking yourself, who is Big Nuts? Big Nuts first made his debut in Mrs.Seals in 2003. He was there for 21 years, However in 2007 he was first taken.  He was taken for ransom, which is quite similar to this school years incident. The ransom notes would often have pictures of Big Nuts around the school, city, and even the country. These notes appeared over a course of 6 months. He was even seen in the second story of a house with a note that said “Mrs Seal’s squirrel…ha ha ha”.  Whoever this squirrel napper is, they are quite dedicated to their craft. Eventually, Big Nuts magically appeared in her classroom. There was no note or nothing out of order.  Ever since then, She has fiercely protected him under her grasp in the room. No one has dared to take Big Nuts until then. What makes it suspicious is that the squirrel napper knew she was out of town in Las Vegas. 

“I have put out an APB for everyone to be on the lookout, but until the squirrel napper makes a demand, we shall all simply hold our breath and pray for Big Nuts’ safe return”said Seals. 

“The kidnapping of big nuts was evil, I miss his presence and personality in her room. He can light up a room”, said sophomore Reagan Hughes.

If you have any information pertaining to Big Nuts, please visit Mrs. Seals in her room, or email her on Schoology. 

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  • S

    Squirrel snatcherMay 13, 2024 at 10:14 am

    This is wrong. Big nuts first went missing more than two years ago. I would know. I am the squirrel snatcher!!!!!!

    Reply
    • I

      Isabella DroginskeMay 13, 2024 at 12:17 pm

      Hello Squirrel Snatcher,
      We at the Park Press would love an exclusive interview. Your story and a well-check on Big Nuts would benefit the community greatly. We never reveal our sources! Feel free to call WPHS and ask for the Press room!

      Reply